Confidence Grown..

HOW MY LIFE CHANGED DRAMATICALLY!

Let me share with you how my life dramatically changed on the 30 October 1985. 

At that point I was 32 years year old, a wife, and mother of four young boys. I had grown up in a Christian family, my parents being in Christian Ministry. At the age of eight I made my own decision to allow Jesus to be the “driver” of my life. Our family moved very regularly because of the call on my parents’ life, and consequently I felt like I didn’t belong anywhere. I was always the “new kid on the block”. I became insecure, very shy, and was easily intimidated by others. Deep inside I knew that there was another person that needed to get out. That God had much more for me, but I was too bound up to enter into life in all its fullness, the kind of life God promises.

In 1985 my husband and I were attending a church in Christchurch when Rodney Francis was invited to minister at a meeting. This was to be my time! The whole way through the service I felt God’s presence and got to the point that I desperately wanted Him to speak to me. It was right at the end, when I thought I was going to miss out, that I was prayed over by Rodney. He began by quoting 2 Timothy 1:7 “For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, love and self discipline.” He went on to say that fear was robbing me of what God wanted me to do and that I was not a 2^nd class citizen. God had brought me here for such a time as this. He prayed for a healing of the nervous system. My healing would take place as I accepted myself as a new creature in Christ Jesus.

That night something broke in my spirit and I was remarkably released. My husband says that he has lived with two different women! The change was so immediate and so dramatic that I think he wondered what had hit him. Over night his wife became confident and self-assured. She knew who she was, chosen as a daughter of the King of Kings with a destiny. I determined from that night that I no longer wanted my old life and to hide behind shyness. God speaks into our lives, but it is up to us to appropriate it into being. I decided to accept any challenge that was brought before me.  I decided to hold on to 2 Timothy 1:7. God used my Pastor and others to recognize my giftings that had remained hidden and ask me to get involved in “Up front” ministry. With God’s strength I stepped up to the mark, feeling totally inadequate, but soon found that God’s grace is sufficient. It is Him that does the enabling. And that was the beginning.

Today I am an Elder at “St Albans Baptist Church” in Christchurch. My husband and I run a Connect Group. I co-ordinate our Guest Services and from time to time do the preaching. God has grown me tremendously! My life is so full and I enjoy it to the maximum. I count everyday as an adventure and look forward to the surprises that await me.

I write this in the hope that someone else will be encouraged to, firstly have the courage to allow God to intervene in your life, and secondly to not allow circumstances of life to bind you up and rob you of all that God wants you to be, and all the wonderful experiences that He wants to grow you through. He loves you and has planted so much potential in you that needs the opportunity to burst forth.

By the way, my husband loves the new me. ~ Brenda Rattray (Christchurch, New Zealand).

I first came into contact with The Gospel Faith Messenger Ministry in the year 2000, during my studying years at Waikato University in Hamilton.  The GFM has played a huge part in my spiritual growth as a believer.  I learned to recognize the Holy Spirit’s promptings in my life in my earlier days as a believer, but understanding and knowing what to do with that information was a whole new ball game.  I didn’t realize that my hearing from God - and how He spoke to me then in regards to other believers and people who didn’t know God personally - was very much the prophetic voice.  By divine appointment, I eventually was led to this Ministry and knew in my spirit that I was meant to be there.  During my early days of coming into contact with The GFM, when Tony Donaldson was there, the Holy Spirit spoke to him in regards to what God was calling me to; leadership. I often saw myself as someone who would play a supportive role in someone else’s life as opposed to leading, yet God was calling me to come forward.  When asked that night to lead a small group, my first thoughts were, “Who? Me?”  I was taken back because someone believed in me, Tony (but really God), and I was by far the youngest at the time.  I felt quite honoured.

As I have gone from one location to the other (Wellington, Hamilton, Auckland) to pursue the calling of God on my life, The GFM has encouraged me to keep going.  I have come into contact with such wonderful, caring and supportive people, who genuinely love you and want to see God’s call come to pass in and through your life.

It has taken a long time for me to learn to trust people in my life due to emotional scarring from rejection and abuse in my upbringing, yet I have found The GFM to be a place of healing for me as much as it has encouraged me in Spiritual Gifts.  The Ministry has enabled me to let go of the “skeletons in my closet,” simply because people have accepted me, reached out and have loved me.  It has broken down cultural barriers in my life, since being Maori and having very little contact with Pakeha (Europeans) during my upbringing, I have grown in respect, to appreciate and love them, and have known the love of God through them.  It has given me also the confidence to take the prophetic to the streets as a tool for Prophetic Evangelism and it is great to see that the gifts are the same out on the streets as they are very much in the church.

Over the years, I have seen my confidence grow in the prophetic and am more eager and keen for God to use me now in Holy Spirit Gifts than I have ever done in the past, simply because I have witnessed the joy that comes to those who have received healing, answers from God, confirmed decisions being made (and are hugely encouraged) - which is what primarily the prophetic is designed to do.

I have enjoyed the travelling with The GFM teams in the North Island and the ministering to leaders and individuals in various churches.  Through it, the Ministry has given me more of an ability to relate to individuals on a one-to-one basis, and in smaller and larger groups.  I have very much enjoyed the wonderful teaching within the Ministry, and the fact that you are encouraged to do what the leaders do. 

I can only look forward to seeing what God has in store for this Ministry and what He will do through those who are a part of it and the blessings that will come to those who will one day not stumble across it, but will be led by the Spirit of God as was the case for me.  Jesus be exalted and God be glorified! With love and blessings 

~ Jenny Matheson (Ranui, Auckland, New Zealand).

06/10/2007